What Tom Gruber Believes Regarding Sexual Ethics

2008-04-25T06:08:00.000-07:00

The purpose of this blog is to articulate, as precisely and concisely as possibly, what I, Tom Gruber, believe regarding sexual ethics.

Regarding procreation, I believe, in opposition to most Christians today, yet in agreement with most Christian writers prior to Augustine, that, as Margaret R. Miles puts it, "procreation by sexual intercourse was initiated by sin and would not have occurred if Adam and Eve had not sinned" (Carnal Knowing, p. 94). I also agree with Ivan Engnell, who states that "Adam and Eve have not been allowed earlier to reproduce offspring" ('Knowledge' and 'Life' in the Creation Story, Volume III of Supplements to Vestus Testamentum, pp115-117).

Regarding the sin of Adam and Eve, I believe, in opposition to most Christians today, yet in agreement with the beliefs of many ancient Jews and the Talmud, that the sin of Adam and Eve was a contamination of the race when Adam and Eve engaged in an orgy with Satan and his demons. (See F.R. Tennant's The Sources of the Doctrines of the Fall and Original Sin, p. 156)

Regarding sex in Heaven, I believe, in opposition to most Christians today, that there will be sex in Heaven. I know of two reformed pastors and a Lutheran pastor who agree with me. According to Billy Graham, "If sex is necessary for our fulfillment and happiness, it'll be there [in Heaven]" (Larry King Live, Dec. 25, 1998).

Regarding polygamy, I believe, in opposition to most Christians today, that polygamy is not a sin, never was a sin, and never will be a sin. Augustine, Luther, and Aquinas agree with me on this. Calvin does not. According to a survey on a reformed website, created on 8/20/2006 by sermonaudio.com, this question posed: "Polygamy - What do you think the Bible teaches about it?" As of July 27, 2007, out of 973 total votes, here were the results:

Polygamy has always been sinful. 37% 364 votes

Polygamy was permitted in the Old Testament but is now sinful under the new covenant. 20% 193 votes

Polygamy is not sinful, but is unwise as it is not God's ideal of one man and one woman for life. 10% 100 votes

Polygamy has always been allowed by God, just like celibacy and monogamy. 21% 202 votes

Polygamy is the Bible's preferred form of marriage. 7% 64 votes

No answer. Skip this survey, I do not care to vote on this topic. 5% 50 votes

So although the majority of Christians disagree with me, 21% of reformed Christians taking this survey agree with me. I personally know of two reformed pastors who agree with me.

I believe that the institution of marriage, though a fine institution, was instituted by God after the Fall and as a result of the Fall. I believe that most sexual restrictions were instituted as a result of the Fall. For example, imagine the chaos that would ensue in biblical times if women were allowed to have intercourse with a wide variety of partners. It would have been impossible to determine who the biological father was if she became pregnant.

I believe that the main purpose of sex is becoming one flesh, which in Hebrew means becoming one entity: mind, body, and spirit. Though Christians are not to become unequally yoked to non-believers, the unity of all believers in mind, body, and spirit is the goal of Christianity.

God is concerned with three misuses of sex:

1) Producing unwanted children outside of wedlock

2) Christians being joined to non-Christians

3) The use of sex to worship false gods

Of course, common sense tells us that rape and child molestation are wrong; those are no-brainers. And nobody wants to acquire an STD or AIDS. Therefore, to engage in activities that put people at risk in those areas is plain wrong. Regarding homosexuality, I've taken a position of no position, though I am familiar with the main arguments on both sides. I myself am totally heterosexual and this issue does not effect me personally. Nevertheless, there is much gray area that needs to be explored. Simply put, I do not believe we were created to be monogamous. Scientific studies seem to prove this. We do have a seven-year itch. The Coolidge Effect is not just a joke. Many Christians, including Christian pastors, have confided to their sex therapist, "I don't understand it. I love my wife. I would never cheat on her. But I keep getting these desires to have sex with other women. What's wrong with me?" Many would simply blame it on the Fall. I say this is the way God made us. Therefore, I believe that polyamory is not only okay, it is the Christian ideal.